is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
