oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
