Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
