I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
