we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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