i permit you to call me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She bit a glass in half.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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