I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
