We're like a lot better than the average bears
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
