i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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