i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
