she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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