didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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