I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
