Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
