We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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