the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
