from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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