That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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