I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
