at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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