We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it