is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts