Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize