I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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