Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
