hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you would pick up someone in the library
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
