no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I have tasted many bathrooms
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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