That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
