No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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