i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
