i permit you to call me
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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