You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize