He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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