I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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