my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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