he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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