Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
