I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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