I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
