hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
