just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
