just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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