Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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