So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
