if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
