If i come over, it means nothing
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
