just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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