he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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