Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
