Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
