actually, I'm a sock model
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
