Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
