nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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