problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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