Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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