Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
