I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
