I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
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Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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